We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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