Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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