Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
