She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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