I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize