Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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