I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
