I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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