i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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