I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Terrible idea I love it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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