Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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