Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
