Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Help. Why am I so naked?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
