I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
