She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize