I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
