Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
