her vagine was all disorganized.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
