i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
