based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize