Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
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I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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