and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
