let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
