i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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