My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How drunk are you?
Completed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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