Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
