it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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