I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
