Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize