it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
