Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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