Plan B is the new Plan A
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
