I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
