My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
