yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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