Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
