I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
