I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
