I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize