Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
