I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
