When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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