Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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