Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
