Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
