I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
