'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
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I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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