Betty ford says i'm here all night
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
