A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How external is "for external use only"?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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