Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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