What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
