you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
