Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.