I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!