Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?

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  (609): Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do? http://tfl.nu/p111
  Replies (110) Good night (2805) Bad night (2037)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

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  (971): I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one. http://tfl.nu/nv72
  Replies (17) Good night (3757) Bad night (533)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.

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  (970): I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides. http://tfl.nu/4pjs
  Replies (26) Good night (4398) Bad night (696)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know

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  (416): I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know http://tfl.nu/hsw7
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (2367)
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  (510): View more from California

  Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.    

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  (510): Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.     http://tfl.nu/ot3m
  Replies (7) Good night (3716) Bad night (658)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.

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  (920): So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again. http://tfl.nu/54yy
  Replies (18) Good night (1911) Bad night (6206)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone just got laid.

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  (480): Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness? (774): Someone just got laid. http://tfl.nu/ub8q
  Replies (17) Good night (9205) Bad night (1180)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.

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  (215): She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her. http://tfl.nu/ocgj
  Replies (9) Good night (3577) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

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  (306): I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car. http://tfl.nu/2mw2
  Replies (15) Good night (5701) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny

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  (860): Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny http://tfl.nu/2672
  Replies (9) Good night (1951) Bad night (890)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.

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  (330): She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time. http://tfl.nu/qns1
  Replies (4) Good night (2788) Bad night (555)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.

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  (602): You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice. http://tfl.nu/i4j5
  Replies (2) Good night (1370) Bad night (1374)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?

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  (402): I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category? http://tfl.nu/je1r
  Replies (17) Good night (2817) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.

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  (+61): I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/104i
  Replies (10) Good night (1312) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.

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  (408): Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware. http://tfl.nu/gy46
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (778)

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