i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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