That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize