You can't special order awesome
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
