hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
