Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
