she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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