shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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