i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize