They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I want her autograph on my taint
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
