Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
