he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
