Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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